Do you ever think about who you were five years ago and miss pieces of it?
You’d never get rid of your kids or your mate, but wasn’t it amazing to be able to do what you wanted without needing a babysitter?
Do you remember a time when you spent more time getting ready than cleaning the kitchen? When eating out didn’t involve a minivan and a second window?
I was thinking of these things recently as I took Zoe on a cross country airplane trip to see her cousins. I was struggling, trying to get the car seat and bags to our seat when Zoe started crying and sat down in the airplane aisle and refused to move. I didn’t even know what to do.
I used to be the woman who traveled anywhere with just a toothbrush and a briefcase. Suddenly I am the lady who blocks the aisle for five minutes, accidentally hits a guy in the head with a Brittax Marathon car seat, and bribes my kid with a lollipop. Do you ever not recognize yourself in the life you have now?
Then there are those moments. You know the ones. Where you feel God give you a little taste of His glory. Small things that are for some reason BIG. She takes my hand and I feel like God just gave me a flash of Heaven. Like that.
Maybe freedom isn’t the chance to do what you feel like doing without restrictions. Maybe it’s the chance to do something bigger than you are. It’s the chance to mess up and keep going. It’s the moment where you lean totally on Him and realize He’s really there. I think of the David Crowder song that says, ‘All of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.’ Yep. Like that.