PRAISE Updates

Alternate Routes

Fri, 24 May 2013 18:30:00 GMT

Thursday evening about 7:00 pm a section of the I-5 bridge crossing the Skagit River fell after an oversized load truck hit the bridge. Thankfully there were no fatalities. About 70,000 vehicles normally cross the bridge each day, so now there are detour routes to get around the fallen bridge. Keep in mind that your travel time may be greatly impacted traveling through the Mount Vernon/Burlington area.

We'll provide you information from the Washington State Department of Transportation (WSDOT) to help plan your travel.

Both directions of I-5 closed in Skagit County
I-5 is closed in both directions in Skagit County south of Burlington.

Southbound

Traffic is being diverted off southbound I-5 at Exit 230.

I-5 at Chuckanut (exit 231), a signed detour will take traffic west on SR 20, south on Best Road, east on Fir Island Road and back to the freeway at SR 534.

I-5 is closed at George Hopper Road. A detour will take traffic east on George Hopper, south on Riverside Drive and west on SR 528 back to the freeway.

Northbound

I-5 has a signed detour directing traffic off at SR 534, then west on Fir Island Road, north on Best Road and east on SR 20 back to I-5. There will be no lanes closed at SR 534.

I-5 is closed at SR 538 and traffic is detoured east on SR 538, north on Riverside Drive, west on George Hopper Road and back to I-5.

To use SR 9 as an alternate northbound route, bypassing Mount Vernon, take Exit 221 at SR 534 east to northbound SR 9 to SR 20 westbound to I-5.

How to Help Oklahoma Tornado Victims

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:41:00 GMT

World Concern World Concern will be supporting World Renew in their response work for Moore and Oklahoma City. World Renew is sending Early Response Coordinators to Moore to help with Spiritual Care and Early Assessment, and to plan for clean-up and long term recovery efforts. World Renew also expect[s] to stand by disaster survivors for the long-term, repairing and rebuilding homes for the elderly, the disabled, and those who lack insurance or ability to do repairs on their own.You can make a donation to help with the Oklahoma tornado through World Concern here.

American Red Cross The Red Cross has set up shelters in various communities. You can donate to the Red Cross Disaster Relief fund here, and the organization also suggests giving blood at your local hospital or blood bank.

If you're searching for a missing relative, check Red Cross Safe & Well's site. And please register if you're within the disaster region. The site is designed to make communication easier after a tragedy like this.

If you want to send a $10 donation to the Disaster Relief fund via text message, you can do so by texting the word REDCROSS to 90999. As in the case with other donations via mobile, the donation will show up on your wireless bill, or be deducted from your balance if you have a prepaid phone. You need to be 18 or older, or have parental permission, to donate this way. (If you change your mind, text the word STOP to 90999.)

Phone: 1-800-RED CROSS (1-800-733-2767); for Spanish speakers, 1-800-257-7575; for TDD, 1-800-220-4095.

Oklahoma Baptist Disaster Relief This organization says donations will "go straight to help those in need providing tree removal services, laundry services and meals to victims of disasters."

It is requesting monetary donations (It says clothing is NOT needed). For more information, and to donate, visit Oklahoma Baptist Disaster Relief's website.

You can send checks to: BGCO, Attn: Disaster Relief, 3800 N. May Ave., Oklahoma City, OK., 73112.

Salvation Army The Salvation Army is organizing disaster response units to serve hard-hit areas in central Oklahoma, including Moore, where it is sending mobile kitchens that can serve meals to 2,500 people a day, and to South Oklahoma City.

Supporters can donate online via the organization's website, SalvationArmyUSA.org. You can also text the word STORM to 80888 to make a $10 donation via cellphone.

If you want to send a check, the Salvation Army asks that you put the words "Oklahoma Tornado Relief" on the check, and mail it to: The Salvation Army, P.O. Box 12600, Oklahoma City, OK., 73157.

Phone: 1-800-SAL-ARMY (1-800-725-2769).

United Way of Central Oklahoma A disaster relief fund is being activated as of May 21 so that individuals can specifically donated to tornado relief-and-recovery efforts, the organization says on its site.

"Financial contributions are the best way to help unless otherwise requested." Donations can be made online at

United Way of Central Oklahoma’s Disaster Relief Fund is open. Donations may be made online here. Checks, with a notation of "May Tornado Relief" can also be sent to the United Way of Central Oklahoma, P.O. Box 837, Oklahoma City, OK , 73101.

Feeding America Through its network of more than 200 food banks, Feeding America, whose mission is to "feed America's hungry through a nationwide network of member food banks," says it will deliver truckloads of food, water and supplies to communities in need, in Oklahoma, and will also "set up additional emergency food and supply distribution sites as they are needed." You can donate online here.

Phone: 1-800-910-5524.

Operation USA The international relief group, based in Los Angeles, says it is "readying essential material aid — emergency, shelter and cleaning supplies" to help Oklahoma's community health organizations and schools recover.

You can donate online here. You can also give a $10 donation by texting the word AID to 50555. Checks should be sent to: Operation USA, 7421 Beverly Blvd., PH, Los Angeles, CA 90036

Phone: 1-800-678-7255.

PRAISE Local Pages

Thu, 09 May 2013 19:08:00 GMT

PRAISE Online Advertiser Directory:

Connect with PRAISE Advertisers, find businesses ready to meet your needs, engage with local churches and much more at PRAISE Local Pages!

Ever hear an ad on PRAISE and later can't remember what the name of the business is? Want to find a church in your area? Looking for a new restaurant to try? Answers to all of those questions and more are at the PRAISE Local Pages too!

Closer to God and to Each Other

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 20:21:00 GMT

After college graduation, I married my sweetheart, Sandy. We were in love. We shared our emotions with each other. Life was wonderful.

Twelve years after the wedding, life wasn't quite as wonderful. With four kids, the Clarke home was loud and busy — hectic, even. Our lives were a whirlwind of kids' activities, school, homework, my career as a psychologist, household chores and church involvement.

During a rare, quiet moment when our kids were in bed, Sandy and I looked at each other and realized we'd started to lose ourselves as a couple. We still loved each other, of course, but something was missing. And we agreed we didn't get married to have a mediocre relationship.

So, Sandy and I decided to do something about it. Through long talks, prayer and searching Scripture, we discovered how to get that important connection back. We found some big answers in two Bible passages.

One of those passages was 1 John 4:7-8. "Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." So God is love, and all true love comes from Him. Only God could give us an intimate, passionate and permanent love.

Sandy and I wondered: How do we love each other with God's love? Another key passage, Genesis 2:24, told us: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." "One flesh" is a complete coming together of a man and a woman. True unity is accomplished when they're one in three areas: the physical, the emotional and the spiritual.

If we wanted to love with God's love, we had to be connected to Him and joined spiritually to one another. We call this "spiritual bonding," which means consistently placing God at the center of our relationship and growing closer to Him as a couple.

Share your spiritual lives

At least once a week, Sandy and I share what God is doing in our lives. We usually do this in 30-minute "couple talk times." I want Sandy to know how I am doing in my relationship with God and how I'm growing in knowledge of Him. Sandy wants me to know how she is doing spiritually, too.

We talk about what we're experiencing in our daily quiet times, insights we've gained in our Bible study and how we're applying Scripture to our lives. We also talk about spiritual victories and setbacks and how God is guiding us.

We don't deal in generalities. "How is your spiritual life doing?" "Oh, it's OK." What does that mean? Nothing.

We're honest, and we're specific. "What has God taught you this week, Sandy?" "He's teaching me patience. I've been meditating on Galatians 5:22-23. Here are two situations God used this week to teach me the importance of patience. One was when I was at the grocery store. . . ."

Sharing our spiritual lives helps us grow closer to Christ. And because we're opening up about the most important and intimate part of our lives, we grow closer to one another, too.

Pray together regularly

Sandy and I also pray together a few times a week. We first jot down our praises and prayer requests. We list all kinds of things: our marriage, our children, our friends, our church, physical problems, job concerns, ministries we love and support, missionaries we know, neighbors, friends who don't know Christ.

We hold hands and pray out loud. Sandy prays for her requests and thanks the Lord for blessings and answers to prayer, and I follow her.

At first, it was difficult and awkward because we hadn't prayed together like this for the first 12 years of our marriage. Sure, we'd prayed before meals and occasionally in a couples' Bible study, but that type of praying didn't produce any real spiritual intimacy.

After a few months, these intentional prayer sessions became easier, and they're now one of the most intimate and meaningful experiences in our marriage. Prayer is a wonderful way for us to share our faith in God and our love for Him.

Prayer has also deepened our conversations and led to a greater level of emotional intimacy. After our prayer time, we often talk about the topics we just prayed about.

Depend on God in Tough Times

Sometimes life is so painful that you feel overwhelmed. Several years ago, Sandy and I went through some difficult circumstances. Through Bible study and prayer, we leaned heavily on God.

We asked God to help us and to show us what He wanted us to learn. God gave us something precious that we didn't even ask for: He brought us closer to Him. We realized that it wasn't the two of us going through this nightmare; it was the three of us — God, Dave and Sandy.

With God at the center of our marriage, we had all we needed to face the pain and overcome it. Through this heartbreaking time in our lives, we forged an intimate bond with God and with one another.

Sandy and I urge you to start spiritually bonding. You'll be amazed at the intimacy God will bring into your marriage — an intimacy that will last a lifetime. Dr. David Clarke is a Christian psychologist and author of A Marriage After God's Own Heart.

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Ideas for Connecting Spiritually

Read and study the Bible. About once every two months, choose a Bible passage and take a week to meditate on it. Then share with one another what you've discovered.

Worship together privately. Once a month, set aside 30 minutes to worship God through praise, adoration and singing.

Help each other to be accountable. Ask your spouse for honesty, support and encouragement in specific areas in which you want to grow.

Serve together. Periodically, choose one area of ministry at your local church or a charitable organization to serve God side by side.

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What Are You Doing This Weekend?

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 07:00:00 GMT

I've never been a fan of chain emails. But a few years ago, a friend forwarded a story that had a powerful effect on me. In fact, after reading this story, I started to . . . well, lose my marbles. Let me explain.

The story was about a man who loved Saturdays, and he wondered how many he had remaining in his life. Fifty-two Saturdays a year times 75 years in an average person's life equals 3,900. But since the man was 55 years old, he'd lived through most of those Saturdays already, leaving only about 1,000. Determined to make the remaining Saturdays count, the man bought a glass jar and filled it with 1,000 marbles. Every Saturday, he opened the jar and tossed one marble in the trash. In this way, he reminded himself that time passes quickly, that each day is a gift.

The story inspired me to buy my own jar of marbles. Like the man in the story, I remove one marble every Saturday. Clearly, only the Lord knows how many Saturdays I have remaining in my life. But to have a visual reminder of a day in the context of a life span has been valuable. It reminds me that my time with my family is not infinite, that there are only a certain number of Saturdays before my sons graduate from high school and a few more after that until they leave for college. Time slips through our fingers so quickly!

After returning from a work trip, I took a long weekend to spend with the family. When I returned to the office, a few colleagues asked me the typical questions: "Did you have a good weekend? Did you do anything?" After briefly scanning my memory for anything newsworthy, I realized it had just been a quiet few days with Jean and the boys. "Well," I said, "I actually did nothing this weekend."

Later, I thought about that answer. Nothing? We had played board games, read books, gone to church and ate some fabulous meals. We'd gone sledding together and sipped hot chocolate afterward. It had been a wonderful weekend. Even the most "exciting" thing outside the home can't top the time that Jean and I are given to spend with our growing boys. If only every marble would be so well-spent.

Jim Daly is president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family broadcast. His daily column is available at JimDalyblog.com.

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Showers of Blessings

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:16:00 GMT

Looking for a fun family craft to reflect on the showers of blessings in your life?! Try this easy project with your family!

Gather

white paper
pencil
scissors
blue paper
markers
fishing line or yarn
tape
glue
cotton balls

1. Draw one large cloud on a piece of white paper and cut it out. Trace the cloud on a second piece of paper and cut it out.
2. Draw large raindrops on the blue paper and cut them out.
3. On each raindrop, write one thing you are thankful for.
4. Cut many different lengths of fishing line.
5. Tape one raindrop to each piece of fishing line.
6. Tape the other end of the fishing line to the cloud so your raindrops dangle from the cloud.
7. After attaching all raindrops, glue the clouds together back to back.
8. Glue cotton balls to your cloud and thank God for showering you with blessings.

'Did Baby Jesus Wear Diapers?'

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 20:49:00 GMT

When my niece Allie was 5, she frequently asked me imaginative questions about God. One day Allie arranged a pastoral ministry session for me. I waited on the front steps of her house while she gathered several of her friends. A study group gathered, and Allie announced, "My uncle is a preacher, and he can tell you what kinds of ice cream there will be in heaven."

I forced back laughter as the little faces turned toward me. Their expressions seemed to say, "Tell us, grown-up, and we will receive your words! What kind of ice cream will we have in heaven?"

My heart just about melted, and my brain fumbled for an answer. I thought about what a privilege it was that, at least for a season, I was the go-to person whenever my niece had a question about God or theology.

The questions children ask often make us smile, but consider this: Becoming the Christian Wikipedia for your kids is a God-ordained privilege and an opportunity to build relationships with your kids. Remember that when you're presented with questions like these: "Did baby Jesus wear diapers?"; "In Sunday school we read, 'I will remember their sins no more.' How can that be if God knows everything?"

You can effectively respond to your child's questions about God. As you prepare to answer your child's inquiries, your understanding of God and biblical truth will also deepen. Rather than squirm when the questions arise, you'll begin to cherish the opportunities to have meaningful conversations about the Bible.

Find the question behind the question

When children ask questions about God, the Bible, Christianity or something that touches on a spiritual matter, our first reaction may be to blurt out an answer. Usually it's better to pause and think, Why are they asking this question? What information is influencing them? Was there a recent event that prompted this?

Suppose your child asks, "Why does God allow bad things to happen?" That would seem to be a straightforward theological question, right? But what if Grandma had been ill and has just passed away? The child really may be asking, "Why did God allow Grandma to die? I prayed for her. Why didn't He answer my prayer?"

One way to find the underlying inquiry is to say, "That's a great question. What do you think?" Then allow your child to articulate what he's thinking. After you have a better grasp on what a child is asking, restating the question helps make sure that you're not reading your own interpretation into the child's question.

Guide the conversation

When answering a spiritual question, having a dialogue with your children is more constructive than a monologue, something they may see as a lecture. Talk with your children, not at them. Children often process what they learn better when allowed to participate in a conversation rather than just listen.

Consider how Jesus, at times, answered questions with a question:

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?" (Luke 10:25-26)

In this particular incident, Jesus challenged the lawyer to consider what he already knew about God when seeking the answer to his question. When you apply this method to the spiritual questions posed by your children, you encourage them to draw on the knowledge they already have about God.

While you're talking with your children, consider peppering your conversations with questions like these:

"How do you know that is true?"

"Can you give me an example to help me understand what you're asking?"

"What do we already know about this?"

"Is this situation similar to any Bible stories you know?"

"What does God say about this?"

If your children come up with answers on their own, it may lead to the formation of a firm conviction rather than just the accumulation of facts and knowledge. And when it comes to matters of your children's faith, convictions are not easily abandoned.

Don't give too much

Eight-year-old Lewis came to his mother and asked, "Mom, what is sex?" After Mom went through a speech about the differences between men and women, dating, love, marriage and what comes after, Lewis looked utterly confused. She finally asked, "Do you have any questions?" He answered, "Yeah, we had to fill out this form at school, and it asked what our sex was. Am I an M or an F?" Be careful that you don't give too much information. A question about Jesus coming back may not call for a detailed discussion of eschatology, pre- or post-tribulation rapture, and the prophecies of Ezekiel and Daniel as compared to Revelation and 1 Thessalonians. A simple "We don't know exactly when, but here's how we can make sure we're ready when Jesus comes back" may be all they're looking for.

How much your children understand depends on their age. As they ask questions, give them just enough information to be accurate and to satisfy their curiosity. If they continue to ask further, go deeper until they are satisfied with your answers.

Find the answer

Believe it or not, "I don't know" is an acceptable answer as long as you follow that with, "Let's find the answer together." Too many Christians never talk about their faith because they're afraid that people, especially their children, are going to ask them a question they can't answer.

Unless you're a Bible scholar, your little ones will eventually stump you. That's OK! You can't be expected to know answers to every question, but you can and should show a willingness to find the answer. No matter your background or current Bible knowledge, your willingness to invest the time in finding the answers with your children speaks volumes about your personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Feed your own heart and mind with Scripture daily, and you'll also prep yourself for your kids' spiritual questions that will come. Don't be afraid! God promises to provide wisdom to those who ask for it (James 1:5). You can pray for understanding. When it comes to preparing for effective answers to challenging questions, I believe our Lord's invitation from Matthew 7:7 is applicable: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

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Alex McFarland is a Christian apologist, speaker and writer. He has written several books on apologetics and is working on a new book about tough questions kids ask.

Foundations of Faith

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 16:08:00 GMT

It’s not an easy task to raise kids in the Christian faith. The world seems determined to undermine the principles of the Gospel. In schools, in entertainment, in culture—our kids confront messages that contradict what they're learning at home and in church, whether it's in beliefs about life and its origins, morality, the design of the family or lifestyle choices. Our Enemy has a clear objective: to erase truth from our kids' minds and pull them away from the path God has for their lives.

How can we better equip our kids to have a thriving faith in today's world? I believe we must help our children develop a deeper understanding of the core principles of Christianity. Consider the example of the Secret Service and its charge to protect our nation's currency system from forgery. As agents are trained, they examine genuine currency to a degree that they become so intimately familiar with the authentic item that they can immediately spot a fake. In the same way, if the core truths of Christianity are deeply sown within the hearts and minds of our kids, they'll be better able to recognize false messages when they see them.

What's more, these core truths help our kids understand the culture they live in. The Gospel is not so much in conflict with this world as it is made precisely for this world. C.S. Lewis famously put it this way: "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

God’s Word is the best place to begin exploring the core truths of the faith. The Bible is not a collection of unconnected stories, but rather one grand story of God’s design and pursuit of humanity. Help your kids see the big picture winding throughout all the pages of Scripture:

The design. When it comes to the integrity of God's Word, the beginning is where the world's assault often begins. Philosophical materialism and Darwinian beliefs are now deeply embedded in our culture, effectively wiping the role of God from the history of humanity. But God's story starts with an important truth: He made our world and everything in it. He designed us. Celebrate the reality of that design with your kids. Visit zoos and aquariums and marvel at the intricacy and power of the creation. Study snowflakes and colorful rocks and the other fingerprints of our Maker that we encounter daily. I often encourage parents to grow plants with their children. This can be a valuable way to give your kids a hands-on look at the mechanics of God's design.

As your kids grow older, let God's design and His plan for our lives be a central theme when discussing other topics, whether it be the entertainment they consume, the friends they keep or the lifestyle choices they make. In everything, acknowledge the core truth that we are the beloved creation of the King of the universe—and that He has a design for our lives.

The problem. From the very beginning, God had a plan for people's lives, but they chose to live differently. The notion that man is a fallen, sinful creature has become an unpopular belief these days. Tolerance is regarded as the better virtue, which usually means approval of any lifestyle or moral choice. But as we raise our kids, they cannot fully understand the Gospel unless they also understand the fall of humanity. If we discredit the fall of man . . . well, what need is there for any help?

From early on, you'll have plenty of opportunities to help your kids understand that they are part of the fallen race. Those times of disobedience and selfishness and dishonesty are teachable moments. But so are the times when you, as the parent, drop the ball. Own your mistakes, helping your kids see that you recognize your own fallen nature as well. Additionally, we must help our kids understand that all sin separates us from God—whether those sins be little or large, ours or theirs. All humans are fallen people separated from God. Every one of us needs restoration.

The solution. Yes, sin happened, but God sent His Son to be the Savior, to take the punishment for our sins. Childhood presents so many opportunities for our kids to experience a tiny window into this grace. I sometimes tell kids to imagine they've broken a neighbor's window with a baseball, with the cost of replacement being $500. They quickly recognize, of course, that they can't pay that bill, but I ask them to picture their parent giving the money to the neighbor, and to imagine the relief they would feel when the price was paid on their behalf. Look for real-world opportunities (hopefully less costly ones) to give your kids a glimpse of God's grace.

I once heard a story about a native who said to a missionary, “You built a bridge of love between my heart and yours, and Jesus walked over.” Of course, Jesus himself was the ultimate bridge builder. When He died on the Cross, He made it possible for mankind to cross the impassable, sin-filled gulf that separates us from God. But as your kids interact with nonbelievers, tell them that God has called us to be bridge builders as well. If we confront non-Christians in a harsh, judgmental manner, it will only set the bridge ablaze. Instead, we must instead build bridges by loving others and seeing them as God sees them—lovingly designed and in need of God's redemption. Just like us.

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Mother-Daughter Conflict

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 19:08:00 GMT

"I hate you!" my daughter screamed. "I wish you weren't my mother!" Little did she realize that some days I felt the same way. Ugly words, unmet expectations and crazy hormones can fill a mother-daughter relationship with tension.

As moms, we desperately want to have a good relationship with our daughters, but we often don't know how to achieve that. We feel embarrassed because a friend seems to have a great relationship with her daughter. Her toddler is compliant, not strong-willed, and her teen is respectful.

So how do we lessen the tension and begin to develop healthy ways of relating to our daughters?

Most moms desire to be a friend to young daughters and forget that our first priority is to be their parent. Our discipline must be firm and consistent, our love generous and unconditional. This is a time to insist on respect. How our young children think about us now isn't as important as it will be in 20 years.

Shared experiences and interests nurture friendships; the same is true in family relationships. One mom has a tomboy toddler, so she throws balls with her. Another has a 12-year-old cook. They make jam together. By intentionally connecting, ties are formed that will help carry the relationship through inevitable times of tension.

If you already relate well with your girl, you can still expect rough times in your relationship, particularly during the teen years. However, it's important not to take this time of growth and change personally; females just push each other's buttons. When tensions do rise, be slow to anger and quick to forgive and to ask for forgiveness. We all mess up. The good news is that forgiveness can begin the healing process in a relationship.

Teens tend to go through stages when they don't like themselves or their families. What they most need from us at these times is hope. Reassure your daughter that her angst won't last forever. Write her a love note. Tell her what you appreciate about her.

You can also set an example by loving and serving your own mother and mother-in-law. Your daughter is watching, and one day she will have the opportunity to care for you.

Finally, pray for your daughter, and ask a close friend to pray for both of you. We have a loving Father who cares about the relationships in our homes, and He will provide the grace you need.

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Susan A. Yates speaks nationally and internationally on marriage, parenting and women's issues. She is the author of And Then I Had Teenagers.

Building Family Identity

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 22:26:00 GMT

My wife, Cathy, and I stared at each other in disbelief as our oldest daughter, Christy, told us she was running away. When she started packing her suitcase, we knew she was serious. Cathy and I weren't sure if we should laugh or cry. After all, Christy was only 6.

Our daughter told us she was moving to Julia's house across the street because her mommy and daddy were nicer. My wife called Julia's mother to tell her what was taking place and that Christy was on her way over. Then, we stood on our sidewalk and watched our little girl carry her suitcase and favorite doll across the street where Julia's mother waited outside the door to greet her.

A few hours later, Julia's mom reminded Christy it was Monday night, when our family always went to Golden Spoon for frozen yogurt after dinner. It was a tradition our three girls always looked forward to. To our delight, she called and asked if she could go. It was a joyous reunion!

The weekly yogurt run was part of our family identity — part of what made us who we were. Our three daughters are now grown, but when our family gets together, we still make trips to Golden Spoon. It's one of those simple traditions that have kept our family bonds strong.

Not surprisingly, a strong family identity helps children develop a strong and healthy self-identity. Knowing what makes their family unique — traditions, values, ways of relating to one another — gives children a clear starting point for discovering their own place in the world. Studies even show that kids who report a strong connection to family tend to be less promiscuous and face less risk of drug and alcohol abuse.

It's been a long time since Christy "ran away." With Christy, the journey was never dull, and we had a few bumps in the road along the way, but today she is a teacher and a responsible young woman deeply tied to our family values, faith and identity.

Parents who want to equip their kids to thrive can start by building a strong family identity. There are at least three important building blocks: shared time, shared traditions and shared values. Let's take a closer look at each one.

Shared Time

Why it matters:

Your children regard your presence as a sign of caring and connectedness. Don't underestimate the positive message you are giving your kids by watching their games, driving them around town and being with them in hundreds of other ways. Your presence gives them a greater sense of security than almost anything else you can offer them. When kids understand that their parents are there for them, they can overcome amazing obstacles to make a positive impact in their world.

Perhaps one of the biggest problems of modern culture is this breathless pace in which we live our lives. Well-meaning families have become overcommitted and underconnected. But families who build a healthy identity are the ones who slow down enough to share enjoyable and meaningful times together. Fifty-two weeks a year of throwing a ball together, taking walks, sharing milkshakes and just being together multiplied over 18 years is a lot of connection time. Those shared times are a deposit into a child's emotional and spiritual bank account that will pay off in dividends of family intimacy and understanding.

Family solutions:

A little creativity can lead to meaningful family times. The Kneipp family, of Washington state, enjoys indoor campouts — complete with camp games, camp food, a no-electricity rule, a fire in the fireplace, s'mores and sleeping bags in the living room. The Nyberg family, of Wisconsin, enjoys "Popcorn Nights." As they snack, the topic of conversation is always "I love you because ... " They appreciate how this together time helps them focus on what's special about each family member.

Meaningful times don't have to be planned, either. The Teetzel family, of Ontario, has learned to make the most of everyday moments. They connect with good-morning snuggles, tickle wars, science experiments while making supper, silly faces in the mirror, butterfly kisses and prayers before bed.

One-on-one time can be just as important as time together with the entire family. The Tuckers, of North Carolina, routinely schedule mother-daughter and father-son outings. Whether the time is spent shopping at a thrift store or catching the latest outdoor concert, the main focus is being together and growing closer. The Gretz family, of Maryland, carves out special time for their four kids every day. Each child enjoys 20 minutes of uninterrupted time with a parent. Sometimes the children want to play with dolls or LEGOs; other times, they just want to talk about their day.

Shared Traditions

Why it matters:

Families who make a place for traditions in their routine and rhythm place another great building block within the family identity. Family traditions are a bit like the old chair we have in our living room. It's become more than a comfortable chair; it's a part of our family identity. Family traditions build family memories. They're talked about, reviewed and become a part of the family story. Traditions nurture the sense of belonging that makes up an identity in families.

Some traditions just happen, but you can also be proactive with building new ones. How about making a list of traditions that could help draw your family together as well as reinforce your values? Your list might include holiday traditions or service projects or maybe weekly family nights where you build warm memories around play and laughter. It's never too late to start new traditions. Some last a lifetime, and others just for a season.

Family solutions:

In many families, traditions often center on food and meals. The unique tradition of the "New Plate" is used in the Needles household. Before a meal, the "New Plate" (a cherished piece of family china) is presented to a child who has done something special — such as helping out without being asked. The Osbornes, of Missouri, have started a weekly tradition they call "Sweet Sundays." The family members look through cookbooks together to decide what they are going to make. After church, the family whips up the dessert together and anxiously waits for the treat after dinner.

Birthdays are also fertile ground for meaningful traditions. The Savage family, of Illinois, celebrates with a birthday breakfast. The night before a child's birthday, Mom and Dad wait until the child has fallen asleep, then sneak into the bedroom and hang streamers and balloons. In the morning, the child wakes to a decorated room, birthday plates on the kitchen table, and cake and ice cream for breakfast. The Maynard family, of Oregon, has been observing "half-birthdays" for three generations. The family celebrates the special day with half a cupcake and a half-used candle.

The Tomcik family, of Ohio, works together on an annual family memory journal. Throughout the year, they save small mementos and photos from different family events. Each family member takes pride in creating a page or two, and at the end of the year, all the pages are put together in one scrapbook.

Shared Values

Why it matters:

The building block of shared values may be the most important and the most complicated of family identity issues. While several studies have shown that many young people leave the church after high school, I'm convinced that kids who frequently experience faith conversations in the home are much more likely to adhere to their family's values later in life. These conversations help form a strong family identity that is rooted in their faith and values.

About every six months, Cathy and I would pull out a notebook and write each of our daughters' names. Then we'd discuss what we hoped we could teach our girls in the next six months on topics such as faith, sexual purity, relationships and character.

Such topics don't always come naturally for parents. Maybe you have some anxiety about starting a faith or values conversation with your children. Remember, your talk doesn't have to be forced or lengthy; it can be simple, short and spontaneous. Getting preachy with your kids can be just as unhelpful as avoiding the topic of faith. Let the discussion be as natural as possible.

Family solutions:

Rather than lecturing kids, encouraging lively family discussions can be an effective way to share values. The Needles family, of North Carolina, presents thought-provoking questions as dinner conversation starters. They encourage family members to share thoughts and experiences, and they try to relate the questions to their daily Scripture readings.

For faith and values to be truly caught by kids, parents must model those values in their daily lives. The Branyon family, of Texas, has established their own "huddle time" before heading out to special events. Briefly gathering together to pray reminds them that they are a team and that God is always with them. As a way to pass along the value of helping others, the Haines family, of South Carolina, started a children's "clothes closet" in their basement. They collected donations of gently used children's clothes of all sizes, then prepared boxes of clothing for families in need. The effort made such an impact on the Haines' 5-year-old son that he began donating his own toys and clothes to other children, without any prompting from his parents.