Sam Kelly on Holding On

Do you struggle with a health diagnosis that is taking an emotional toll on you? Sam’s cancer diagnosis has driven her to hide her pain from her children and others, finding it hard to deal with at times. One night, feeling overwhelmed, she went outside to talk to God.

Click PLAY to find out what happened next.

TRANSCRIPTION:

Hello, it’s Sam. Has God ever sent you an answer in a song when you weren’t able to hear it anywhere else? One of the challenges of having a diagnosis when you are a parent is you don’t want to show your kids that you don’t feel good, and you don’t want to show anyone else. If you have a job where you’re encouraging people, you don’t want to show anyone else that you don’t feel good. The hardest part about it is I can’t get away from myself wherever I go. I’m very uncomfortable, and I can’t work out as much as I want to work out right now, and I’m just pent up. And so last night, I don’t know whether it was an allergic reaction or just done, I found myself on the floor upstairs in the middle of the night, crying, crying. My husband comes up and he goes, what’s going on? And I said, I don’t know where to go to get away from this. I read the Bible. I was talking out loud to God. I said, I think I have to go outside and I have to just talk to God.

So, I go outside. It’s the middle of the night. My husband’s really worried. He’s like, do not walk the neighborhood. So I’m walking up and down the cul-de-sac. For whatever reason, our neighbor’s son was disturbed and he was up and he’s in his car doing a bunch of stuff, and Carlos is worried about me. It’s the middle of the night. So, he doesn’t know what to do. He knows I don’t want company, and he just goes up and gets in his car and turns on the headlights and just sits in the driveway with the headlights on me as I’m walking up and down the cul-de-sac talking to God and going, God, I’m just so done. I’m just so done. Please let this be done.

And when I got it all out, I finally get to the top of the driveway and Carlos opens the door and he says, Katie Nicole says, Hold On. We have such different taste in music. The fact that he’d even listened to Katie, Nicole blows my mind. I guess I’ll say it to you,

I don’t know if you need it like I needed it last night, but hold on just a little bit longer because it’s going to be okay. All the things that are happening for you are going to make you stronger, and you’re going to find purpose in the pain that you’re going through. So lift up his name and Hold on. Just hold on.

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