A study by Mike Adams, a professor at Eastern Connecticut State University, suggests a correlation between students’ exam periods and the mortality rate of their grandmothers. The research indicates that grandmothers are 10 times more likely “to die” before a midterm, and 19 times more likely before a final exam. The risk is even higher for grandmothers of students who are not performing well academically. Brant and Sherri suggest that the best way for grandparents to ensure their survival is to avoid sending their grandchildren to college.
Transcription:
Brant:
Now, follow me on this. A little bit tricky to talk about, but this time of year apparently is very dangerous for grandmas.
Sherri:
Why?
Brant:
Finals time. Not making this up. Mike Adams, professor at Eastern Connecticut State University has done research and found that grandmothers are 10 times more likely to die before a midterm, and 19 times more likely to die before a final exam.
Sherri:
What are you telling us?
Brant:
I know it sounds terrible, doesn’t it?
Sherri:
Yes.
Brant:
Worse, grandmothers of students who are not doing well in class are at an even higher risk. This is according to students reporting to their professors that their grandma just died. Students who are failing are 50 times more likely to lose grandma than non failing students. It turns out, the greatest predictor of mortality amongst senior citizens in our day ends up being their grandchildren’s GPA.
Sherri:
That is devastating if you are a student. Don’t do that. That’s heartbreaking.
Brant:
These professors, in the moral of all this, if you’re a grandparent, do not let your grandchild go to college, especially if they have intellectual challenges. Challenges at all. Do not send them.
Sherri:
Because your very health is at stake.
Brant:
Your life is in the balance apparently, according to these professors.
Tune in to the Brant Hansen Show!
Weekdays: 3:00pm-7:00pm
Saturdays: 4:00pm – 8:00pm.
Comments